After some internal struggles (and some whining), I coached myself. I asked myself, “What do I most need right now?” I listened to my body and knew I needed some big movement to really clear my head.
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I hesitated. There were less rocks to cross on than last time. Plus, it was snowing. I could get wet and cold.
I had made plans with myself to hike last Friday afternoon because I’ve committed to hiking more this year. I would be the only one who would know if I didn’t hike.
Finally, I decided to take my chances. If I fell in, I would turn around and go home.
I vowed that for 2023, I wouldn’t do that.
And, for my first retreat of 2023, I didn't!
By 9:00 pm, handouts were printed, flip charts were written, and the car was packed! I had time for a relaxing bath and got in bed on time. I’m so proud of me.
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I've learned that I need to pause. I learned that the organization was better when I paused - when I paused to rest, to move, to learn, to reflect. I paused so that I could center myself and respond from a place of groundedness, of confidence, of knowing.
Pausing wasn't easy. Its's not written in policy or often accepted in our society.
And yet, pausing is so important.
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Even though I know with all my heart, that there is an ease, a flow, a rightness when I use my strengths, my head can very quickly focus on what I did wrong. If I’m not careful, that list can turn into a tailspin heading straight for “I’m not good enough.”
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